The top 22 things that happened to me at SEC Media Days

A lot was said, heard, and drunk this week in Nashville. Viral quotes about NIL, cake, and usual one-liners received plenty of attention. No doubt, there were plenty of takeaways. This Media Day rookie, however, was blown away by the environment. Don’t get me wrong. It was just a bunch of tables, cloths, and wires at a nice hotel. But it was as if my Twitter timeline had come to life. The energy was palpable from day 1 as we are now this much closer to the action returning. Finding the week forgettable would have been a hard ask on my end. So, I wanted to share the Top22 things I’ll remember . 

In order of recollection:

22. Doing my best Forrest Gump Impersonation and having all the Dr. Pepper I could drink

To be fair I also threw in a few waters and a 7Up. But as a non-coffee drinker dealing with the after effects of Broadway, I needed a jolt from somewhere. 

21. Passively getting 8 Bumble Matches – Hello Smashville

To be clear, I wasn’t “in the market” nor do I consider myself a “looker”. But I’m a fan of research. And luckily, my aesthetic value trended above the mean in a city bursting with babes. 

20. Joe Tessitore’s unprompted greeting

Tess has some of the best pipes in the game. A baritone that means business and carries the weight of a thousand decibels. Looking up and him tossing me an unprovoked “How’s it going?” when sitting at our On3 station rumbled me from my toes to my foggy head; almost as if I was playing a classic match in Fight Night Round3 (a boxing video game that immensely familiarized a young StatCat with his voice). 

19. Verne Funquist’s radiant (assumingely non-hungover) smile greet me on Thursday Morning

Saturday Down’s South Chris Marler had a rough start to the week thanks to travel issues. But, he was all sunshine on the last day of the event. On a day that could’ve been a slog, he seized the day with a smith. A good dude who treated the event more like a circus than a church. 

18. Fist Bumping Cousin Shane and Telling Mike Bratton “Cats by 5”

The Duo of “That SEC Podcast” are a fun pair. Always ready with a quick quip or a question that might trip you up. TBD on if our scatterbrained convo recorded in the middle of a lightning storm will ever make it out of the can. Post interview, I trekked a mile in a drizzle slightly defeated back to my air BNB. 

17. The fresh, hot Nashville Chicken for Wednesday’s lunch

Chicken is by far my most consumed meat. Cook it any way, I’ll eat it. But as a poor soul who suffers from acid reflux, spicy and saucy things can be dodgy. That said, the Nashville Grand Hyatt’s chef mastered, in my opinion, the optimal balance of kick without drowning out the champion bird meat. Two thumbs up!

16. The 4 free Sailor Jerry’s on the rocks at Monday’s reception

Despite being a born and bred Central Kentuckian, rum is my drink of choice. I still will enjoy a bourbon from time-to-time like my fellow folks in the Bluegrass. But, I’ll never pass up pretty good rum that I do not have to pay for. I mean, who hates a free pregame or tailgate?

15. Ryan McGee giving me a compliment in the bathroom

You read that right. But before you have any assumptions and start thinking dirty, this exchange was rather ordinary. On Tuesday, the men’s bathroom near radio row had a drought of paper towels. With a dysfunctional air blower and nothing on which to wipe hands, dudes were left to their own devices to dry their mitts. This ranged from doing “the apprehensive hand flaps” to barbarically using one’s own pants. Springing into action, I raced to a nearby snack table, grabbed all the napkins I could see, and triumphantly smacked them down by the sink. The amiable McGee exiting and heading around the hall blurted “You're a good dude” before disappearing around the corner.  

14. Cole Cubelic almost mauling me into a sink

Speaking of bathroom talk, I almost had a major accident; not involving the toilet. Upon exiting the sink area and heading for the door, the SEC Network star and Auburn’s former center immediately entered the bathroom. To give you the layout of the room, the only way to go is an immediate right inward; and visa versa from the handwashing station. Separated by a wall for plumbing, the sinks are further right after a small corridor. Another way to picture this near-collision would be to imagine a pulling lineman about to wrap around the edge on a misdirection with a defender being a half beat slow eyeing the original action. Thankfully, this former defensive end still has quick feet and decent reflexes. Using the classic “wrong arm” technique, I dipped under CC before engagement and potentially being knocked on my ass or into the wall and reached my destination unscathed. Unfortunately, this shook me. And I was afraid to approach Cole after this. 

13. Seeing JD PicKell’s flow in person

As a former toe head, I can be jealous of blondes at times that still can remain golden. My hair went muddy long ago. JD won’t have to worry about that. Not only was the On3 talent platinum, his lettuce was majestic and luxurious. The brand’s top young producers do their best. But even then, the cameras just don’t do the man justice in this department. 

12. Cutting it up with the KSR Football Crew

After the Sailor Jerrys lubed me up, I hit the bars Monday night with Kentucky Sports Radio’s Drew Franklin, Adam Luckett, Nick Roush, and Steven Peake. Topics ranged from translatable basketball/football analytics, digital marketing, and amateur covers of Fountains of Wayne’s hit “Stacy’s Mom”. Good dudes who bravely mustered the dreaded Nashville tourist tax. 

11. Being a Newb in front of my boss

The next day, Tuesday, was not my best moment. Admittedly hungover and dragging ass, I was washed by the afternoon. Sometime after lunch, I had a brief talk with my boss, Luke Stampini. Fried and nearly short-circuiting, I referred to a text convo we had that morning but spoke of him in the third person – sounding as if I didn’t know who TF I was actually talking to in person, which was decidedly awkward. I can assure you (and Luke) that wasn’t the case. But clearly, Nashville got me good. FYI, I hydrated much better the rest of the week. Still, not a great look for the rook. 

10. Shaking hands with the BIG BOSS

In a theoretical sense, I probably would not have started SEC StatCat unless Shannon Terry and his cohorts built a business around making football a year-round thing that deserves constant coverage from all angels. In an absolute sense, I would not have my current gig with On3 without his blessing. He’s a living legend and a premier figure in our field. Meeting in person for the first time was a legit honor. 

9. Hashtag I Voted

Getting to vote for the All SEC preseason selections for the first time was a treat. Though my ballot was grossly different than my contemporaries in some spots, it was a nice experience to finally “join the club”. In case you are curious, I have a direct repeat of last year’s SEC Championship Game unfolding the same way. 

8. Sizing up the folks on radio row

As a 6’1 chubster, I like to think of myself as possessing above-average size. Though plenty engulfed me, I couldn't help but see how slight some guys actually are. I don’t want to besmirch the statures of some of the professionals who help the SEC be great. Okay fine, I’ll just say it: Paul Finebaum and Aaron Murray are short. 

7. Getting Brian Kelly to talk about YAC

I wanted confirmation LSU was exploring ways to get more explosive. OC Mike Denbrock spoke of amplifying their YAC results as a method to bolster those efforts, and Coach Kelly confirmed that’s in the plans. (Reminder LSU posted the conference's 2nd-lowest YAC average and Explosive Pass% in 2022). But while I presumed that course of action was a direct response to his QB’s conservative M.O., Kelly was quick to compliment his passer’s desire to attack downfield windows later in the season, inferring it might carry over to 2023. 

6. Drawing out perhaps the best X’s and O’s response of the week from a coach

It’s hardly a secret Missouri’s offense is rooted in the wide zone. Plus, Eli Drinkwitz has always orchestrated plenty of eye candy. I asked him to elaborate on his philosophy and we (football nerds) got an excellent response. By the sounds of it, the Tigers seem to be linked to their off-tackle despite last year’s temporary dip in usage. 

5. The “Garth Brooks” moment with Sam Pittman

For one brief moment, the Oklahoma-native popped a chubb. But upon realizing he wasn’t talking to the country star, his enthusiasm instantly waned to the point he checked out of my question, which conjured a brief pause while he collected himself. Despite the reports from 247, I assure you a clear question was asked (check the tape!). And despite not fully grasping what I was asking, the jovial Pittman eventually meandered into answering my question, sounding sturdy support for his new OC Dan Enos to keep Arkansas as the SEC’s most explosive offense. For the record, this misunderstanding around my name happens A LOT.

4. Receiving an unofficial invite to join Tennessee’s staff

I closed out the main room Thursday afternoon asking the very last question at the last coach’s presser. And boy, did we end with a bang! While I have some annoyances with Josh Heupel’s Veer and Shoot scheme, it’s unequivocally effective. In fact, I pitched to whoever would have the conversation with me that this scheme should be adopted by any team thinking about running a triple option offense for competitive advantages/restrictions. Let’s just say, the word “sexy” was dropped and Heuple relinquished his only smile in the main room according to multiple Vol beat writers. And due to my "passion for the offense" (no one dig up my old tweets dissing their illegal downfield tunnel screens), Coach joked I should join his recruiting staff to help sell the scheme to recruits.

3. Sunday Night’s Righteous Gemstones episode

No spoilers here. But, let’s just say plenty of ball was talked about this week about SEC teams and otherwise. A pioneer episode of television. 

2. Getting Stapled

Andy Staples reputation as a class-act and upstanding dude precede him. After chatting about the SEC’s top5 freaks, a terrific segment if I may say so myself, we shared anecdotes about our starts and the future of sports media over some pretty good mac n cheese, steamed/seasoned broccoli, and pulled pork. 

1. StatCat mentioned on the Shutdown Fullcast

Though Tuesday wasn’t my finest, I was rather sharp when Jimbo Fisher was at the stand. TAMU’s ball coach received plenty of flak over his communication around how his offense will operate this fall upon the hiring of Bobby Petrino. Spencer Hall, internet icon, co-host of SEC Network’s Thinking Out Loud, and someone who I deeply admire, ribbed the baron from afar and openly challenged Fisher’s insistence his offense is “special” by laying out a streamlined script of the Aggies’ basic approach. In short, Spencer knows ball, and his assessment wasn’t too far off-base. Sharing TAMU’s concept share to accentuate his point on Twitter, he rewarded, blessed, and excited me by mentioning StatCat on college football’s ONLY podcast, the Shutdown Fullcast when recalling Jimbo’s appearance. Hearing that sitting in my skivvies, eating McDonald’s and recouping on Wednesday evening was the highlight of my week.